HEADing to the Arboretum

The National Arboretum was our final stop on our adventure and boy, what a place it was. Stretching just over 150 acres and filled with various memorials it literally is mind blowing. It must be said that this place is definitely worth a visit.

However, along with the sobering atmosphere of the grounds we were never far away from a little humour. This surfaced when a group of school children went up to Nick asking for his autograph for posessing what they called "the biggest head in the universe". He duely obliged and we managed to help out the school children with their project for the day. After many hours of admiring the beautiful location and the laying of our personalised RAF Odiham wreath we decided to find a local pub to watch our national team do us proud. At this point Dave managed to demonstrate his drinking limits and after finishing his third babycham started voicing his opinions to the whole bar (and most of Lichfield). Then it was back to Whittington Barracks where we started to pack up our gear ready for the long road trip back down to Hampshire tomorrow, where hopefully all will return to normal - i.e. Sid becomes human again, Nick loses some air pressure from his head and Dave manages to sober up. Until then we're all stuck together...... God help us.

The Rat In The Pink Hat

We had all agreed the day before to put the effort in and complete the rest of our journey in one day. And so we reached our final leg. All that was needed was the final stretch to take us down to Alrewas and end what had quickly become a tedious journey. Morale was high after the day off and everyone was in good spirits at the thought of completing the journey. In fact, our excitement got the better of us, as by the time we reached the canal, 3 of the posse needed the toilet which resorted into gatecrashing an old people's home to use their facilities. We entered the water and almost instantly Sid looked like he was at one with the water, as opposed to in it. The miles soon started racking up and it took a while before anything of interest occured. We entered a short, narrow stretch in single file when out of the blue a death curdling scream came out of Sid's mouth. Our first thoughts were that the Canal Sniper was real and he'd taken Sid out for a third time, but that was dispelled when Sid remained on his board claiming "it felt like something dragged my board." We all came to the conclusion it was some sort of rival rat clan trying to cause mayhem among the rat ranks. And so we pressed on, on what seemed like an endless canal. The heat was ferocious but luckily we had Tina Turner's long lost twin sister on the bike with us (A.K.A. Sean) dishing out warm water and melted chocolate bars. Over three quarters of the way through we were met by a friendly northerner dishing out locally grown strawberries, Sid asked if there was another option mainly to do with cheese. The strawberries were a nice treat and helped us to prepare for what was around the corner, a common foe, the swan. In case you don't know swans are fearless and immensely scary. Phil & Nick were up front when what looked like an angry dragon came bounding down the water hissing along the way. This soon turned into four fully grown men getting out the canal and walking around a 2 foot swan, who at best could have squawked at us, but not to be deterred from our goal we did what needed doing. Alrewas Lock was in sight and we could taste success, or more likely canal water. Dave was waiting with the camera to record our proudest moment which was only overshadowed when we saw the tan lines that Sean's dress had left, which secured Sean as taking over Dave's previous title, the worst tan lines ever. The trip had come to an end and we headed to the nearest pub to celebrate with a nice cold pint, or for Sid, a sample of Canal Water and the Cheese Board.

Rest & RecupeRATion

After all the hard work we'd been putting in a well earned day off was on the cards. A lie in followed by a walk into town to search for a new wig and shoes for Sid A.K.A. King Rat (as he insists we call him). Shopping done, we treated ourselves to a pub lunch and generally decided to have a rest to prepare ourselves for the final leg of the tour. A big thank you to Andy @ Newcastle Under Lyme TA centre for sorting us out with some quality digs and another big telly.

Tails From The Riverbank

Who could have predicted what today had in store?! So many events in such a short space of time! We began this morning with a nice little lie in, and eventually hit the road by 10 in search of our entry point, the other end of Harecastle Tunnel. Rather than the usual thousands cheering and shouting when we launch, today we had 2 grumpy fishermen complaining we were interrupting them trying to land what's most likely going to be a traffic cone or a shopping trolley.

After satisfying their complaints we headed south bound towards our finishing point, The Royal Exchange pub in Stone where we were promised a free pint each courtesy of Cheryl. Only hours into the journey and disaster struck, in the form of the Canal Sniper. Yet again, his target was the furry feline, Sid. Whether the sniper exists, or Sid just felt like taking a dip in his natural habitat, either way it lead to a wet dress and an angry rat. We decided to take a drinks break along the towpath to let Sid dry out and chat to some of the locals. Unbeknown to us, chaos was just round the corner in the form of a young girl on a bike quickly closing in on us. We'd taken our break next to a metal frame which acts a cycle restricter to slow bikers down. Whether it was being greeted by a 6ft 2 cornish wooly mammoth in a dress or the sight of Sid on the hunt for some cheddar, she completely forgot to brake and misjudged the width of her handlebars. All of us bit our lip as she came within inches of wrapping the handlebars round her head permanently. A quick flash of an embarrased smile and she went on her way. As we approached the finishing line for the day a mysterious figure stood staring through an iron fence on the canal bank. All of us would have placed a years earnings, betting it was a scarecrow, when suddenly it spoke. What it said, we have no idea as we were still suffering from shock and trying to stay afloat, unlike Sid who longed for the dirty water to be running through his rat veins again.

Eventually we reached the finish and mouths watering, we set off in search of our free pint. The drink barely touched the sides as it had been a long day for everyone, especially Dave on the bike who is now the proud owner of the most horrendous tan lines known to man/woman. We headed back to the TA centre for a hard earned shower and something to eat. All the while, our concerns growing over Sid's changing features which now include whiskers and a slight tail sprouting.

Anyone Smell A Rat?

First up, we begin the blog with a big thank you to Stoke TA centre for putting us up at such short notice. And so we began Saturday with great optomism raring to get on the canal and paddle into the Festival which was taking place at Middlewich, like four seasoned pros. We set off at great speed all the while keeping a close eye on Sid's ever growing evolution into a member of the rat family. Our first stop was at the Lock Inn where we were met by dubious looks and a rather obvious unwillingness of the locals conversing with men in drag. As we got back in the water and made our way towards the festival Sid suddenly started to speed up to the extent where none of us could catch him. It wasn't until we eventually reached the Kings Lock Inn that we realised the reason for the sudden burst of speed. There standing next to the pub was a tall man wearing a pointy hat and playing a pipe, yes you guessed it, it was the pied piper of Hamlyn calling to all the rats to follow him. Luckily, Phil spotted Sid in the crowd and managed to quickly slap a big pair of ear defenders on him. Once Sid had stopped pining for the piper we managed to get him back on the water en route to Kidsgrove. The journey went remarkably quick and unhindered and before we knew it we were at the entrance to Harecastle Tunnel which was our exit point for the day. Then it was back to the Newcastle Under Lyme TA centre for a quick shower and a pub dinner to discuss our worries over Sid.

Friday, 18 June 2010

Hills, Thrills & Spills

After a rather uneventful drive from Odiham to Widnes, we settled in at our home for the night, Widnes TA centre where we'd like to thank them for their great hospitality and mainly, the massive screen in our room to watch the football on. So, at 0630 we climbed out of the camp cots and headed towards Preston Brook Marina for the big "drag launch". Due to a combination of low lying smog and a strong smell of chips and gravy we ended up in a motorway underpass getting some dodgy directions off Gerry Adams' body double with a thumb that could be seen from space.

Finally we found the correct launch sight, and after a quick change of clothes and hair styles we hit the canal. Half a mile into the journey and we encountered our first problem, a tunnel. So out came the boards and we began what seemed like an endless trek up and over the hill that the tunnel ran through getting some strange looks along the way. We hit the water again and began to make some real progress. Before we knew it we were at least four miles in.... and ready for our first break. It was at this point we recruited our first groupie in the form of a black border collie whom we named "supper". The dog took an unhealthy liking to Dave and as we really started to clock up the miles supper just couldnt bring himself to watch us set sail into the sunset and remained ever faithful right by our side. Hours later, we reached the Anderton Boat Lift where we had to part ways with the loyal mutt due to Daves fatal attraction reaching new levels.

The rest of the trip to Middlewich was pretty uneventful due to everyone reflecting on the loss of supper, however, we were suddenly awoken out of our slumber by a deathly shot by the canal sniper as Sid tried to climb out of the canal. Feet from the edge Sid heroically managed to kick his board out of the way of the bullet and took the full brunt in the back which resulted in a double pike Tom Daley would be proud of... and a mouthful of canal water. Due to our heightened awareness of Weill's disease we're keeping a close eye on him. We haven't noticed any major changes apart from a sudden fondness of cheese and he requests that from now on we call him Roland. All in all a good day's work. Tune in tomorrow for our latest exploits.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Tight Squeeze

Alright, proper names for the team. This is the one and only time mind. L - R Sid, Wayne, Nick, Dave, Shaun and Phil. Tune in to the next exciting installment to meet their alter egos.